in the quivering forest

(really mandy, i love you. with or without the videos.)

here is another gem:

Fleet Foxes - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

sufjan

ok i'll be honest here. this is the sole reason why mandy ripley is one of my best friends. because she introduces me to stuff like this:

#50.2 - Sufjan Stevens (MusicNow) - The lakes of Canada
by lablogotheque

dream a little dream

There are many people, grown-ups in particular, who say that young people are foolish, that young people have hopes and dreams that are unrealistic, unfounded, that young people can afford these kinds of luxuries. But what the youth possess that so many older generations no longer have, is fearlessness. And that, is something that time chips away, bit by bit, until there is none left, and we are all just a bunch of sad sticks afraid that something is going to disappoint us. What we come to realize is that there is nothing in this world worth relying on.

things are different now

It's a different world, now, from when I was piecing Lego pieces together to resemble ranches and pretending Polly Pocket actually gave a shit about the Ball that was coming into town the next day. I can't understand how "touch applications" work nor how a cellphone charger can just die on you. I'm probably behind on the times; I guess it happens to the best of us. Does it matter if technology doesn't affect what you're trying to accomplish? 

I'm sucking on a Fudgesicle, trying to remember the last time I had one in the bathtub with my sister. We used to pretend that we were hair stylists; we would take turns being the hair stylist. We would pretend that the bubbles meant something, that the bubbles meant we were being artsy and cutting-edge. We understood that hair was a form of expression, that a good cut could be the deciding factor between cool and hip. So I'm standing here, at a friend's new apartment in the hottest day of July, looking at a picture that she's nailing to the wall. And I'm sucking on a Fudgesicle. Is it straight, she asks, and she walks back to where I'm standing. It looks good to me but I tell her that it might be a little crooked. I really have no way of knowing, I tell her. I'm terrible with eye-balling things. She adjusts it a little to the left. It's still crooked, but I don't have the heart to tell her. It looks great, I say. She smiles. She rummages through a box. There's a little doll that I'd seen before. She puts it back into the box. I wonder when the sun is going to go back into hiding and when the night air will give us a break from the heat.

He's here again and I'm wondering if he'll tell me this time. 

There was a time when I wasn't wondering all the time. When I wasn't confused about what was going on with my life. When I was sure about something, anything. I don't remember when that was, but I'm sure it's there, somewhere. I'm sure it's buried in the box of memories that I keep under my bed; every time I move, I take out the box and rummage through, taking out notable pictures and placing them aside, next to my bare feet, face up so I can thumb through them again. I don't know why I choose the pictures that I do, and I'm not sure if there's ever a pattern to these kinds of things, but I do it anyway. 

He holds my head and tells me I'm his angel.

I think my knees knock up against the wooden floors when I'm not paying attention. When I'm not trying to hear my own heart beat, I think I can hear my joints hit the pavement. Hard.

How many times do I have to forget you? 

from hawaii to san diego

exhibit a: N teaches me how to take screen shots.

exhibit b-g: N likes to stick out his tongue.

fall 09

mcqueen

well done drew, well done.

sorry kids

i now remember why i used to check nutrition facts for all the fast food/restaurants that i liked to frequent on campus when i was strapped for lunch. i'm never going near a rubio's fish burrito again.

chips excluded, a fish burrito weighs in at 710 calories with 360 of them being from fat. yummmmmm. i thought a bean and cheese wouldn't be as bad, but it's just about the same. 

oh american mexican food.

what we do on our free time:

(Bob Dylan softly playing on my Macbook).

(Nathan working on some Bioengineering Lab).

Obnoxious Car Alarm Goes Off.

N: "That is fun"

H: "How annoying."

Car alarm ends.

N: "That was kind of fun"

Nathan giggles.

I make exaggerated Nathan giggles.

H: "That's what you sound like!"

N: "You sound like a cow."

H: Exasperated sigh.

Nathan giggles again.

H: Sigh.

5 Minutes Later: Nathan is still giggling.

Nathan points and giggles exactly the same as before.

Just another night.

joni mitchell - hana

i wish i was more like her:

Hana says when life's a drag
Don't cave in
Don't put up a white flag
Raise up
A white banner
In this manner-
Straighten your back
Dig in your heals
And get a good grip on your grief!

Hana says, "Don't get me wrong
This is no simple Sunday song
Where God or Jesus comes along
And they save ya."
You've got to be braver than that
You tackle the beast alone
With all its tenacious teeth!
Light the lamp.

So I'm at work, cleaning up some dishes and brewing some chai tea. A woman comes up to the counter and asks me who the musician is on the speakers. "Joanna Newsom," I tell her. I'm excited that she's the fourth person to compliment the music. Then she says, "She has the most Annoying Voice." And she rubs her temples and cackles with pleasure (Displeasure?) "I've been listening to her for the past two hours and GOD." I give her a scathing look. And she walks out the door. 

Thank you Joanna Newsom, for kicking this woman out of this cafe.

planning something for someone you love is a wonderful thing.

really, i don't usually post about this kind of nonsense. i mean, who really cares about celebrities anyway?

but BILLY CORGAN is dating TILA TEQUILA?

has the world gone absolutely mad?

life laid out in numbers

1. i moved. back to la jolla. killing me softly...

2. i am in a nutrition class. skinny bitch had it right: high fructose corn syrup is the devil.

3. i am taking bikram yoga. god it's difficult.

4. i'm on a diet. this is the extent of my laziness: today i roamed the grocery store for an hour and a half, stocking up on essentials like sugar free jello and tuna cups. i'm contemplating whether or not i should stock up on more veggies since the ones i get always end up going bad somehow... and then i wander into the frozen veggie aisle. hellooooooo frozen individually packaged steamable veggies! i got 10. 10 of them. they're even lightly seasoned. veggies that never go bad. and i don't even have to scrounge around for a pot. god i'm pathetic.

5. i went back to the gym. first time back since N wandered into my life. yes, it's been 6 months. yes, i lost a good year's worth of hard exercise within 6 months. so i get on the treadmill and this treadmill asks you before you begin, how long will you be running for? god i hate it when they do that. because then you punch in something ambitious like 60 minutes! and you get pumped for about a minute and a half. and then you actually start running and you're thinking @$#% i can't do 60 minutes. and you start compromising in your head as you're running. and then you end up doing something really little like 15 or 20 minutes and you feel pathetic for not reaching your initial ambitious goal. it's really a problem. anyways, point of the day: i hate running.

6. i just got joanna newsom's milk eyed mender. discovering joanna newsom was kind of like when i discovered sufjan stevens. why the hell did it take me so long to purchase this album? any one of the songs on this album could have been The Theme Song for sooo many moments in the past two years.

7. zack snyder is awful. really, just awful.

8. is it true what mandy says about me? am i a negative nancy?

9. on that note: mandy, i'm giving up beer. (it's fattening).

10. current desktop picture:

there are no words.

well, maybe some

today's thought: when did i learn that # on a telephone keypad meant pound?



strawberry cupcakes today. i need easter ideas.